...and feeling like crap. Let's see....last night wasn't good. At all. Today's better. My leg hurts like a you know what. I think I strained a muscle or something. I need to get home and ice it, though. (yes, Kayla, that does help. Are you icing your wrist??) I'm going to suck it up and quit voice lessons. My parents could really have a better use for that 35 bucks a week. I need to get over being extremely jealous of my brother. Just because my parents were brass players and are really excited about him playing trumpet and he has a step up instrument worth about four times as much as my clarinet is no reason to be jealous. There's no point in getting anything better anyway...I'll just have two more years in high school and might get a few years in collage. Maybe I'll even have to drop band, like my dad did.
God, I hate this. I just wish...no. No point in wishing. It's only reality that really matters. And what reality is, is that my stuff's perfecting fine for schooling Nathan this year. Heh, I'm on a huge ego trip with it, seeing as I've never been beaten by anyone my own age. But frankly, I think that I suck. I think that I'm just working the system, like in all my other class. I need to stop comparing myself to everyone else in this damned world. So what if I get first next year? Big deal. Just means that you did better in one tiny instant than twenty something other kids who just don't care as much. I just want that Nazi in my head to shut up and leave me and my music alone.
Damn me and my effing lack of self confindence. *hides in dark corner*
