My SAT scores:
| Test Date | Test | Score | National Percentile |
|---|---|---|---|
| 06/2006 | SAT Reasoning Test | ||
| Critical Reading | 630 | 84% | |
| Math | 610 | 76% | |
| Writing | 640 | ||
| Multiple Choice Essay | 63 (score range: 20-80) 9 (2-12 scale) |
That's a 1880 composite, thank you very much. And for you old schoolers, 1240.
In the midst of all my stress, I feel myself closing off from Kayla. It's all self inflicted stress, I know. Most of it rooted in deep seated issues that I've got with my various insecurities. And I don't care. It doesn't change anything.
But I can see it. I see her having to deal with all this stuff, like DM tryouts and finals and any other excuse that I think of to make, and think that if I can just hold my own for a while then I can unload later when she's not so...preoccupied. Or even better, it'll just go away before I have to unload on her.
Maybe I just need to get it through my head that I'm not stressful to her. But then, it's really not stressful to me when she unloads on me, so... I just don't want to hurt her. Evidently this course of action completely backfired last time. I just...
I need to talk with her...really, really talk. I don't want to be pushing her away. I don't want to screw things up again.
And I think she wants to talk to me, too. But then, I'm not really trusting my instincts with what's going on with her. I'm afraid to, that they may be wrong. I don't know...I need her, dammit, I do. But I don't want to seem self centered, either. I don't want it to seem like I care only about spewing my crap to her, because I want her to spew back. (bad image, I know). I need to talk.
We need to talk.
YECK!
So much, so much crap in these past few days since I last put one of these up. Yay for emotional rollercoasters. Uck. uck uck.
God I feel like crap. I've got a tension headache. Nothing too bad, just annoying. I hate tension headaches. Okay, so I really do kinda get a kick out of the pain (I'm turing into Kayla...lol), but still. I lost my head for my German Oral today. Only me and Steven had to go. That was dumb. I wanted to ace it, but I got a 22/25. Ah well. Still's good, still's good. But sucks, because it's the easiest thing TO ace. I just couldn't concentrate at all. GRRRAAAH! And I'm running for band president. Why am I doing this? Katelyn doesn't do this kind of stuff. Sure, she thinks it'd be wicked awesome, and that she'd do an excellent job, but that whole fear of losing thing...yeah...not that it really makes a difference - I'm 90% sure I'll still be section leader if I lose. Katelyn, Crystal, or Kurt....this should be interesting. That's probably what was stressing me out so much during German today. Mmmmm....And finals are coming up. It completely pisses me off that I have to take the Chem Final. I seriously am going to die. But if I get a 100% on it (not a 99, mind you) I'll get a 92.5 in the class. Needless to say, I'm scared. And stressed. I don't remember hardly any of that crap. At least Kayla doesn't have to take it. I would be jealous, and was for a bit, but I did get that "Outstanding English 11" award today (which made me kinda happy, despite the fact that I wore evil shoes for nothing), so I guess that makes us even. : ^) I don't know...And I've got a 79 in Calc. 79!! I have to get an 84 on the final to bring it up to a B-. Even if I completely aced the final I'd still have a B-. But frankly I deserve like a D. But For taking the AP test, I get an extra 10% added to my final score, so really I only need a 74 on the final. Sweetness. That, my friends, is attainable. Unlike chemistry. But I'm still going for it. History shouldn't be too bad. I'm coming in Monday to talk with Loewen to see what I need to do with the Final to get/maintain my A. He grades weird. But in a good way. Unlike Chemistry. AND I blew up at Jess today...but what's new.
I took a nap when I came home. I freaked out when I woke up - thought it was the next day. Yay for REM sleep.
All right. I'm leaving now. Got to get home and do homework and maybe call people. Heh, I don't know how much longer I"ll be able to use the Youth Minister's computer...