It's nearly one am. I don't remember the last time I voluntarily stayed up this late. I haven't experianced teh golden hour of philosophy for a while. There. I just turned out the light. I think I need to learn to stay up later more. It moakes me feel more alive. More me. I haven't been myself for a while. I think I was dangerously close to losing myself entirely. But then stuf happens, and you regain consciousness. Like coming up for air in a dream where you're underwater and can't find the surface.
Sleep is for the weak. Sleep is for the shallow. Either that or I'm just too crippled to handle being deep without the night. It's tantalizing. This feeling like anything at all could happen. God could appear before me or a vampire knock on my window, and I wouldn't be surprised. shocked, yes, but...
I need to go sit out on my roof more. recently I was able to forget all the worries that have enslaved me for so long, just for a while.
Freedom is mine, the earth is still. I can feel the air, I can breathe AGAIN!
Just breathe.
That's all. Just breathe.
...
Take me away. I've escaped reality for a few precious minutes. Reality is no longer reality. Reality no longer exists. It's fantasical.
Take me away. Lift me from this pit of vipers. take me away, to the higher place.
Ya'll probably think I've gone insane. Kayla probably doesn't. This is the other side of sanity, after all. I just haven't visited for a while. Anne Rice call's it the Golden Moment. The moment when everything makes sense, it's magical, the moment in which philosophy and thought flows like Niagra. It's like Nirvana. Only not as extreme, not quite there.
I never want to leave this place. Who has been here? The sky's a puky brown grey red again tonight. Otherwise we might be able to see the Aurora. Ahh, the beauty of her. I want to go to the Far North, to the artic north, the cold, where you see the Aurora Borealis every night. Pullman's captured my fancy. Just call me Lyra Belaqua.
I can't bring myself to ponder the minutia of 'modern existance'. It's like breathing fresh air after living in a crowded room for months, no windows, stuffy as hell. I refuse. NO! I won't be part of this, this matrix of society.
And yet not all good things must come to an end, but this shall. Practicality calls, and he says I need sleep. Screw sleep. But no.
Alright, then. I will only leave if you promise to bring me back.
Okay then. Good.
Goodnight, my dear mortals. So many just don't understand, they just don't comprehend. Come, fly with me.
Goodnight.
