I woke up this morning. Eleven hours of sleep - whoohoo!
I was thinking about Finding Neverland. How they talk about growing up and all that jazz, and once childhood's gone, it's gone. I was also thinking about my last few years in highschool. As a junior, I don't feel the same as I did as a sophmore, let alone a freshman. Freshman year I still had the eyes of a child. I had fun with my friends, and began to figure out who I was (instead of the lovely chameleon named Katelyn). Faith was coming to the frontlines, even though it was just in a Logos form - facts, truth, you're wrong I'm right, God's a thing out there. Sophmore year I evolved a bit into a half lizard, half human sort of scary thing. I had less pure fun. I began to realize how close I was to becoming a legal adult, and all that that entailed. Faith was more of a personal thing, though still fact oriented. Ethos, if you will. Some friends were truer, though confusion in that area still remained.
Now I'm upon my Junior year. Somehow, this mutated creature is looking more and more human than chameleon. Faith is more Pathos, though bits of Ethos and Logos are still quite necessary. Friends are truer than ever, and not much haze remains. I'm only a few years away from living on my own, as an adult in society. I'll be going through Confirmation classes (starting in, oh, a few weeks), so my parents won't be responsible for my religious instruction - I will. School consumes much of my time, as does church and family and friends.
And somehow, I've realized that something changed during these past few years. I'm not a child anymore. At heart, at least. I'm beginning to see the world through the eyes of an adult. I'm more jealous of people's spiritual lives than what brand of clarinet they have. And yet somehow I'm the same person. Or am I? Have I changed? Or just realized my potential?
